As a teacher / writer I am falling in and climbing out of…
As a teacher/ writer what am I falling in and out of again and again? As a teacher I am falling in and climbing out of adequate preparation. Being a second year teacher, I still encounter this problem regularly. I travel on long weekends too much, spread my efforts too thin, and end up Sunday night, Monday morning scrambling to bet my bearings. Preparation is my pit of despair. I go through cycles of being a really good teacher; having Special Ed. Paperwork ready in advance, making phone calls to parents, documenting classroom performance, and then comes the bad teacher; not sleeping enough, not ironing shirts, and wearing white socks with dress shoes. The stress of teaching out of a bad kills me. It seems absurd to complain about this, but I feel you are my choir to sing to. As far as my voice, much of what my voice is saying to me is inappropriate for public discussion. I beat myself up when the bad week ends. Yet, in the end, I know this has been a cycle I have not been able to break yet. I hope this will one day change. There is a huge difference between the school year me and the summer time me. The summer is my ladder out of my pit. Yet, I somehow manage to fill my plate too full during this time of much needed rest and relaxation. Hopefully, one day I’ll finish swimming up-stream and just go with the current. All rivers lead to an ocean somewhere and the beach sound really good about now.
